ENGL 1301: Journals

September 1997

Time sure does fly fast. Well, just yesterday it was August. With so many activities that happened last week, I’m not surprised. Anyway, I promised Iris I would write today, so here I am. I’m so happy that I finally straightened out my room after all the ruckus that occurred. I just need to get my records organized and I’m all set. But I don’t want to do that now, I feel so dead already. Besides, my wrist hurts. I guess it’s from all those lifting that I did. Oh well. Right now, I’m pissed off at Ric cuz I know he’s going to wake me up early in the morning just to get him in the office. Hey, I don’t want to wake up for anybody, unless it’s really necessary. I don’t want to be forced. It’ll make the rest of my day gloomy, and I don’t like that. Oh, why does he have to be so bossy and nosy? I wish he would stop.

Met a guy online yesterday. He’s too young for me, but he asked me on a date. I don’t even know him! The things guys do to get gals on their bed. He’s not that young, but still, I consider him as too young for me. Besides, I have a boyfriend already, so why do I waste my time on this guy? It’s not worth it.

Oh well, I might as well sleep already since Mr. Bossy will be calling me, for sure. Grabe!

Flying Pigs

April 1998

In the land where I live, there are cows who give eggs, chickens who give milk, horses that croak, frogs that neigh, goats that are small and live in a goat hill (very good workers!), ants that are big and eat everything in sight, the dog that wakes us up in the morning by his “cock-a-doodle-doo,” and pigs that fly.

These pigs are special creatures. Every spring, they gather up a lot of mud to make nests out of it. They swipe the corn out of our fields, and I tried in vain to ward them off with a scare pig.

And how they fly! You’d think they would look clumsy, but no, they’re not. They glide, swoop, twist, and swirl in the air, as if they’ve been flying all their life. And they are very cunning, too. Why, you ask? Because no one has ever caught one. Oh, yes, they’re very playful; letting anyone think that catching them is a piece of hamburger (that’s “piece of cake” to some folks). They’d fly by a catcher, stop and then return to where the catcher was. Eventually they would look eye-to-eye; the catcher just looks at the pig, mesmerized and unable to move. He seems so fascinated that he forgets he was supposed to catch the pig. When he realizes what he intended to do, the pig already flew off. See what I mean? No one has ever caught a flying pig. They are wild creatures, these pigs are.

I do hope you will visit our land someday, where pigs fly. And hey, maybe you’ll be able to catch one. Maybe.

Lovesick Fool

October 1998

Happy and sad
A contradictory of thoughts
Love was found
Friendship was lost

Happy and togetherness
Sad and forgetfulness
Where am I going?
Where am I bound?

I’m just a lovesick fool
Brooding over something but nothing
I’m a lovesick fool
Loving but not loving
How can that be? No one wants to be
But I’m a lovesick fool

Love consumes me
Friends drift away
Everything I believed in
Has died and gone astray

Forgetting everything
Remembering something
I feel so happy yet so blue
I feel nothing but love

Nothing is important
I just want to be with my love
But am I satisfied?
Where am I bound?

I’m just a lovesick fool
I cannot understand it
Coming together but apart from it all
Is it any ever dull?

Untitled

October 1998

He’s here, I’m tingly all over…
I can’t understand this feeling of love
I want to squeeze him deep in my heart
Yet I feel that I’m squeezing him too hard

Is this love? Is this joy?
Why do I feel so miserable?
When he’s gone, I’m done
Nothing feels good anymore.

There he sits on a chair
On his way to another place
His heart is with me
And my heart begins to race

Yet I find that I’m yearning
For more than he could give
He’s going away to his family
And here I am to grieve.

I’m distracted, I’m confused
I don’t know what to do
I have him in my heart
But he can’t help for us to part.

I miss him so badly
I cry myself to sleep
If this is love, it hurts
I think I’m in too deep

I haven’t met him at all then
Yet it seems that he’s with me years before
We feel like people in love
When we’re together, we fit like a glove.

I will see him again
Tomorrow, I hope
Just the smell of his perfume cologne
Makes me me go up in smoke

We’re states apart
Why did it have to be this way?
Maybe it’s fate that we met
Living from day to day

One day I will be with him
And I wish he with me
I am impatient of this love
I can’t wait, I’m already ready to move

But then, love endures
Problems arise, but still love pursues
I should wait till my love comes for me.
I shall wait, I must be sure

I haven’t planned it this way
Love just came and shot me in the back
I guess it’s the same for him
I can’t find any words more to say.

Love, what is this?
What have you gotten me into?
I have become Dindo-holic 🙂
I succumbed to the addiction.

Hay naku, ewan ko ba (Oh boy, I don’t know)
Pag naiisip ko siya (When I think of him)
Ako’y nagwawala sa tuwa (I go crazy with joy)
Mahal na mahal ko talaga. (I love him so much)

Airport!

May 1999

It was a first time to ride a plane on my own going to Dallas. From the Philippines, I stopped at Seoul, Korea so I could change planes. The airport there is like a box-type of building. I had to wait 6 hours there because they had some sort of flight delay. I took advantage of it to take a nap because I didn’t sleep the day before I left. The other passengers in the same flight did the same. When I woke up, it was finally time to go.

The plane finally reached my port of entry into the United States: San Francisco. I was far away from the door to get out of the plane, so I had to wait a long time to let the other passengers out. To make matters worse, some people practically stepped all over me because I was small. When I finally stepped on the accordion-like platform that connected the plane to the gate, one of the flight attendants in the plane greeted me.

“Uh, excuse me, are you all alone?” she asked. I looked behind, making sure it was really me she was talking to, and I said that I traveled alone. Her eyes lighted up, and smiling, she said to the airport staff beside her, “She’s the one!” The woman asked me to go with her. I was so curious to what was going on that I followed her. The other people behind me were curious, too. They probably thought I was a celebrity or something. Ha Ha. That would teach them not to trample on a “celebrity”!

Following the woman with my heavy shoulder bag, I was taken to the baggage claims and I was assisted to get my other luggage. I thought it was funny, because they didn’t treat me like this when I was still in the Korean airport. When I got my suitcases, one of the attendants asked for my passport to verify information. After he looked at my passport, he looked at me weird. He then whispered something to the flight attendant who assisted me. I overheard him saying, “This girl is already 20 years old!”

The flight attendant looked at the passport for a moment. She laughed, and then gave the passport back to me. “I’m sorry for any inconvenience. You can go on your way now.” she said. “Was there anything wrong?” I asked. The woman laughed again. “I hope you won’t be offended. I’m sort of embarrassed to tell you, but I thought you were only 10 years old! That’s why we had to assist you.” I looked at my image through a glass window and figured that I did look like a 10 year old. Who could imagine a ten-year-old girl find her way through a big airport? I laughed with the attendant. Well, they still assisted me with my heavy luggage so I could go on to my connecting flight to Dallas. It was nice of them. I was still smiling when I was on my way.

Anticipation

May 1999

Tension gripped her. She sat there, transfixed at what she saw in front of her. She clung to the arms of her chair, her eyes moving left and right, following a flicker her and a flicker there. She didn’t know how it was going to begin, or how it was going to end. Perspiration enveloped her like a smoke screen. She suddenly hears a sound. She jumps, as if startled. Her brows come together in a frown. She moves, attempting to comprehend what has occurred. She settles back in her chair again, waiting for something to happen.

Then, a sound comes again. Her eyes light up, a glow of light shines upon her face. The light dances and changes from blue to green to red to yellow and back to blue again. A beep interrupts the silence of the room. “At last!” she says. Her hands move toward the keyboard. Her eyes move across the screen. She is finally online the Internet!

Forest Boy

May 1999

Once there was this boy who lived in a small house in the middle of the forest. He had magic powers, but only within the forest. He stayed young for years. He was told not to venture out of the forest or else his powers will wear off and he would grow old.

He kept that in mind and he stayed in the forest for years. One time, he went playing outside his house and he was enjoying himself that he didn’t notice that he already left the forest. He tried to find his way back, but he eventually got lost.

He arrived at a certain village. There was an old couple that didn’t have any children and they took him in as their child. The boy didn’t have any more powers; so he grew up to be a handsome young man.

One day, the man was hunting in a field and he finally found the forest he lived in when he was just a little boy. He noticed the forest was darker than it was when he remembered it before. He figured out that the forest was scattered with evil, and all the living things inside it were suffering. He arrived at the entrance of the forest, seeing that there was a certain stone in front of it. When he got there, there was a pretty fairy in front of the entrance of the forest. She said that no one can save the forest but him, but first he must kill the giant on a hill beyond.

In order to kill the giant, it must not be from physical ability, but from intellect. He must gather all his wits to defeat the giant. When the giant is killed, the man is to cut open the giant’s head and inside will be an egg. He should then bring it back to the fairy. He must not break the egg or else he would forget his mission to save the forest.

He went up the hill, but it was so steep that it took him a long time to get up the hill. He eventually got up the hill and proceeded to go the giant’s house. The giant came out swearing to kill the man with his bare hands, but the man told him that he could kill the giant with just his mind.

They battled wits, but the man’s mind was too strong for the giant. The giant was too overwhelmed with his defeat that he fell down dead. The man took out the egg from the giant and proceeded to go down the hill. Accidentally, he dropped the egg when he was nearing the bottom of the hill.

Out from the egg emerged a beautiful princess. The man instantly fell in love at the sight of her, and she told him a story of being trapped inside the giant for so long. She offered him marriage to her, a big palace and riches, so the man totally forgot what he was meant to do to save the forest.

Back at the entrance of the forest, the fairy was wondering what happened to the man. She went and followed the tracks of the man to get to the hill. When she reached the bottom of the hill, she saw the broken eggshells and realized that the man has failed in his task. It turned out that the princess was the evil witch that caused evil to seep in the forest and was more powerful than before because of getting out of the eggshell.

The fairy had secretly fallen in love with the man the first time they met, and she set out to free him from the evil witch princess’ clutches. She brought three walnuts with her, and disguised herself as an old maiden. She arrived at the castle where the evil witch resided and she broke open the first walnut. Out came the most wonderful cloth made of bronze.

It was shimmering so bright that the witch princess saw it from her window. She called out to the fairy and asked for the price of the cloth. The fairy mentioned that she would like to sleep with the witch’s husband. The princess consented readily, since the man was always drugged to sleep every night with poisoned wine, and he wouldn’t be bothered.

Thus, that is what happened, the man was asleep all night while the fairy cried out and shook him awake. It was all to no avail. When morning came, the fairy was outside the castle again, and this time she opened the second walnut. Out came a cloth made of silver.

The princess saw it again, and wanted it for her own, so she consented with the old maiden’s request to sleep with the man. The same thing happened as the day before, with the fairy crying out and to no avail.

The old maiden took out the third walnut and out came a cloth made of gold. The princess wanted it too, so she agreed again to the old maiden’s wishes. Now, the man was getting tired of drinking wine every time he went to sleep, so he decided to skip drinking it on the third night.

While he lay there, he heard the door opening. He figured it was his wife, but then he heard a soft voice telling him of the mission he failed to do and how she loved him. All of a sudden, all the things that happened before he met the princess came back. He sat up and saw the fairy. They embraced and planned to escape.

As they attempted to escape, the evil witch tried to detain them with poisoned arrows. The fairy was able to ward off some of the witch’s powers, but when they got back to the forest; the fairy was badly hurt by a poisoned arrow she missed. While she lay there dying, the fairy told the man that in order to destroy the evil witch; he must smash the stone at the entrance of the forest.

The fairy died, and the man was so consumed with anger and hurt that he smashed the stone into smithereens before the evil witch could gain on him. The witch came out screaming and faded into dust. Suddenly, the man’s lost powers when he was a boy came back and the forest was back to its old self.

The only thing left was the dead fairy. He came toward her and carried her. He cried with grief and some tears fell on her cheeks. She started coming to life, and in a few seconds, she was smiling up at the man. “I wouldn’t have lived if it wasn’t from tears of true love,” she said. They married and lived in the forest for the rest of their lives, which was forever.

Halini

May 1999

Once upon a time, there lived a little girl. She was very bright, so intelligent that people are baffled and in awe of her gifted talent. She would glance at a cover of some article or book, and she would know right away what the contents are and would even tell you every word that was in the article. If she doesn’t know a language of another country, she would just listen to a native of that country and how they talk and in one minute, she could speak the language better than the native himself. Can you tell how intelligent she is now? Her name was Halini.

Now, before all this fame happened, very poor parents brought up Halini. They were so poor that they rarely eat but once a day, sometimes not at all. Even though the parents have worked hard to the bone, they still couldn’t afford too much of too little of anything. Halini did anything that her parents asked of her and helped out on some chores at their house.

One day, Halini went to the well to get some drinking water. She gazed down the well as she has been doing every time she was at the well. She felt that there was something down there, something that could change her life.

 

His Eyes

May 1999

I noticed him from the moment he stepped in the room. I was sort of glad that the people with him didn’t indicate that he had a date with anyone of them. He was tall, rugged looking, didn’t dress very well, but I didn’t care. He just had the most beautiful eyes — eyes that saw right through you, into your soul and into your heart.

He sat across a table from me, but it gave me a clear view of him. Unfortunately, he had a clear view of me as well.

I chatted with my friends in my table, but I would glance at his table every unnoticeable chance I got. Out of the corner of my eye, I observed him and admired him. What galled me was that he seemed to admire and observe me, too. I had to look many times to make sure. Yep, I was right. He was staring at me, as if I was some kind of, well, I can’t say, but he was interested. Definitely interested.

It thrilled me that he would, because I was hoping he would. Does that make sense? I made it look like I was talking to my friends, but I think he knew I was admiring him. He was looking at me so intensely that I squirmed in my seat. Fidgeted is the right word for that. He was leaning forward on his chair, as if listening to his table’s conversation, but his eyes were focused on me. Like what I was doing. Not right at him, of course, I would just casually glance towards him once in a while.

I was wondering, “What if I stared back at him?” I contemplated on the thought for five minutes and finally gave in. I looked. No more sneaky glances, but straight in his eyes. For about two seconds, I stared back at him. For two seconds, he looked right into my eyes. For two seconds, it made me so nervous, I had to look away. His eyes seemed to look right through me! It was too intense that my hands were trembling. My heart was beating so fast! I just had to force myself to avoid looking at him, but I kept going back to his eyes, even just those sneaky glances. Who would’ve thought?

For those two whole seconds, it seemed there were only two of us in the room. Two seconds! It seemed like an eternity!

Finally, my party had to leave. I sneaked a glance at him again, and he was still looking. I stood up and turned my back on him. I didn’t want to risk looking at him again, or I would do something drastic, or maybe embarrassing. Only the memory of his eyes clings to my mind. Hmm, I didn’t even know what color his eyes were. Who is this man? Does he like me? Because I know I certainly liked him. The only regret I had is that we didn’t get to know each other. For two whole seconds, we knew each other. His eyes. Hmm, who would’ve thought?

This Guy Online

May 1999

There I was, trapped between logging out and having my files updated by America Online. “This is so stupid!” I said to myself. It was obvious I was anxious to go offline and continue on with my business. There was no one interesting in the chat room anyway, so I didn’t bother to stay online long.

Suddenly, somebody sent me a private message. “Hi, are you busy?” it said. It was he! The guy I was talking to a few days back. I really liked him but he didn’t seem too interested in me. I mean, who was I, compared to this gorgeous hunk?

“Oh no, how can I respond to his PM? My files are being updated and AOL won’t let me answer him! I will just have to let AOL finish and log me out and I will go back in.”

AOL did just that. It finished updating and logged me out automatically. I frantically reached for the mouse and clicked on the button to go online again. I wanted to talk to the guy so bad! He was so nice to me when we talked the last time. He sounded so interesting, that I was considering him as someone who might be more than a friend.

As I wait impatiently for the modem to connect to my account, my mom calls me from the kitchen.

“Kim! It’s time for dinner!” my mom called.

“But—I—-Can’t—!” I groped for words anxiously, looking at the screen.

“Get off the computer and get over here!” My mom yelled from the kitchen.

“Oh grr!” I gritted my teeth. Now I won’t be able to talk to this guy online because I have to eat dinner. I clicked on the mouse to cancel the transmission reluctantly on the computer and grumbled my way to the dinner table.

Now, let me tell you how I met this guy. I was online one night and making smart-alecky remarks on other people’s conversations, something to keep me from getting bored. Occasionally, there would be people who would send me private messages, or instant messages, but I would bump them or ignore them all. But this one night, I was so lonely and bored that I would talk to anyone who would send me a PM. Just then, some person online PM’d me. I took on a chance to talk to the person, whoever he/she was.